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The Trauma of Everyday Life
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Review
“Epstein's book is a guide to viewing trauma realistically, not striving to avoid it or even suss out its cause, but use it as a means of understanding "the texture" of our own suffering. If, as the Buddha said, life is suffering, why not suffer wisely?”—Nancy Haught, The Portland Oregonian “Mark Epstein’s book is a rare and remarkable achievement. It fuses deep scholarship with deep tenderness—in the spirit of the greatest Buddhist teachers—to investigate the nature and psychic repercussions of trauma. The fact that Epstein can effortlessly transit between the ancient truths of Buddhism and the most contemporary understanding of trauma is a testament to his agility as a thinker. This is a wise and important book.”—Siddhartha Muhkerjee, author of The Emperor of All Maladies“This daring psychobiography of the Buddha divines in tales of his life the sources of his early emotional pain and finds in the Buddha’s methods a balm for the human psyche. In a breathtaking display of the therapeutic art, Epstein does ingenious psychodynamic detective work, deducing what ailed the Buddha, and why his remedies work so well. The Trauma of Everyday Life reads like a gripping mystery one told by your warm and reassuring, but utterly candid, analyst. What’s true for the Buddha, Epstein explains, applies to us all.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence “Written with authentic originality, from the author’s own inward struggles and achievements, it is the most loving, gentle, brave, insightful, and exquisite presentation of the all too fully human process of enlightenment I have seen. Reading it engages us to look deep within to the heart as we expand our mind to appreciate the Buddha’s example in the only real way—with the joy of natural relational knowing. Buddha would have loved it—I love it! I recommend it—a transforming pleasure!”—Robert A. F. Thurman, Jey Tsong Khapa Professor of Buddhist Studies, Columbia University; author of Essential Tibetan Buddhism “Mark Epstein is one of the very few writers who has been able to make the connections between psychoanalysis and Buddhism seem not merely interesting, but somehow riveting and useful. Written with Epstein’s characteristic lucidity and passion, this inspired and illuminating book clarifies a lot of our presuppositions about trauma and, indeed, about everyday life. It should be of considerable interest to a great many people.”—Adam Phillips, author of Missing Out and Winnicott “In this intriguing and deeply moving meditation on the human condition, Mark Epstein offers a psychoanalytic reading of the Buddha’s life that illuminates the same tragedies and joys that are just as much part of our life today.”—Stephen Batchelor, author of Confession of a Buddhist Atheist “Mark Epstein has managed to bring to life a sensitive and subtle understanding of human suffering and how traumatic the human condition is, and how transcendent and liberative it can be. His exploration of the subject draws beautifully and candidly on his own life, his own meditation practice, and his love for the Buddha’s life story and embodied wisdom teachings. He weaves these threads and themes together with his love of Winnicott and psychotherapy in the most magical of ways. It is a remarkable and poetic achievement and goes to the heart of the relational nature of human awareness, reflected, as he shows, in our own implicit memory.”—Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of Full Catastrophe Living and Mindfulness for Beginners“As always, Mark Epstein meditates on experience—his own and that of others—with exemplary intelligence, sensitivity, and tact. It is hard to imagine a book this year with more lucid and bracing wisdom.”—Pankaj Mishra, author of An End to Suffering: The Buddha in the World
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About the Author
MARK EPSTEIN, MD, is a psychiatrist in private practice in New York City and the author of a number of books about the interface of Buddhism and psychotherapy, including Thoughts Without a Thinker and Psychotherapy Without the Self. He received his undergraduate and medical degrees from Harvard University.MarkEpsteinMD.com
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Product details
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Penguin Books (July 29, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0143125745
ISBN-13: 978-0143125747
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.2 out of 5 stars
89 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#57,254 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I have just begun reading this book for the third time. I finished reading it the second time a week ago. There are two reasons for this. First, it is not an easy read. Second, it has changed my life.The writing is clear,and the voice, flow, and illustrations hold the reader's interest. It is not easy because it requires a Western reader to start thinking in new ways and it requires a serious reader to dig deep into his or her own life experience. Yes, Epstein quotes Pali scriptures and sometimes uses Sanskrit words, but everything is explained clearly and in ways we can identify with personally. It is just that a central value of Western culture is to numb, run away from, or "get over" suffering rather than turn toward it to discover what it can teach us.It has changed my life because by practicing what Epstein writes about, I have discovered something in me (or around me) that can help me face and sit with the deepest hurts of my life, instead of letting them run my life.If you read this book slowly and thoughtfully, it will change you, too.
This is most likely a book for therapists who use "mindfulness" as a cornerstone of their approach to therapy. It combines therapeutic mindfulness with discourses on Buddhist thought, and the development of that thought. As a Buddhist who is interested in the emotional side of life (because suffering is essentially emotional in nature) and in psychotherapy, I found it well worth reading. Most other Buddhists, who tend to focus on the intellectual side of Buddhist training, would probably dismiss this as "pop-Buddhism."There is a significant controversy in the Buddhist community about the mindfulness movement popularized by therapists. Many Buddhists feel that mindfulness as used by therapists, is a dilution and ultimately a corruption, of Buddhism. I might go so far as to say they jealously guard Buddhism's "intellectual property."Personally, I am glad that mindfulness is making inroads into mainstream society. Not everyone is cut out to be a Buddhist, but it is likely that they can benefit from some of the concepts and practices of Buddhism.If you are a therapist who uses mindfulness in your practice, or a client who is working in this vein, this could be a valuable book for you. If so, I also recommend The Feeling Buddha, by David Brazier.
I read an OpEd piece in the NYTimes by the author and was intrigued by his deep insights. I purchased the eBook thru Amazon and never regretted it. I've read many books on Buddhism, philosophy, mysticism, etc. This one stands out above the rest because it masterfully blends psychology and Buddhism so that the insights into both disciplines come forth one surprising chapter after another. I can't say enough about this volume for its analysis of Buddha's path to enlightenment. It opened my eyes to the areas of his life that have been clouded over by generation of commentators (enlightened and not). I am referring to the trauma of his early motherless existence, the trauma of that experience, and the psychological strains Gautama underwent (and conquered) during his years of physical deprivation and denial. It deepened my understanding of why Buddhism provides such subtle psychological tools to assimilate and overcome the daily (and extraordinary) trauma of just living. I've recommended this book to Buddhist teachers and they have been equally impressed with this book.
This book explained trauma to me in a way that was meaningful for me. While Dr. Epstein drew his observations from pertinent lessons from the life of Buddha, he gave enough clinical elucidation about trauma that proved pivotal for me as I unwrapped the nature of pain that has kept me in a chokehold for most of my life. Once you truly understand the nature of pain (how it came about, why you would have processed it a certain way as a young child, what it feels like to re-experience in the present), you can develop realistic practices to release sorrow and recognize that suffering is part and parcel of the human condition. It is comforting to know that all of us know this challenge in some form and that we are all capable of overcoming it. This book was both a gift and a key, one that unlocked so much for me.
This book will do you a great service: it will provoke you to change your footing in relation to the inevitable sufferings of your life in a redemptive and restorative way. It suggests that you cannot evade or hide from suffering, but that you must face and re-frame it so that it doesn't deform other aspects of life.The summary is dry and uninviting, but the book itself is rich and inspiring. I would wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone who has experienced birth, infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood, old age, illness, and the suffering and death of loved ones.
I cannot give this book enough praise. It is a rare gem of intelligence, compassion and clear understanding of the human predicament. No one escapes every day life, and no one escapes its trauma, but what we do about it marks us as remaining in ignorance of reality or having the courage to seek a true ontology of being. Most lives are spent in patterns of escape that in their turn are increasing the stress on both ourselves and the environment. Epstein's work plums the depths of dislocation and confusion within societies and individuals, and makes a clear analysis of the hidden trauma that drives us all. Epstein doesn't set out to change the world, but if enough people read and applied the wisdom of this work the world might just change for the better.
Dr. Mark Epstein never disappoints. His Buddhist wisdom, mental health training and his experience with real world examples is an amazing combination. Dr. Epstein drives his point home - trauma spares no one and it's everywhere. Maybe we all need to learn to treasure trauma, because it gives us a rare opportunity to practice patience, test our faith and eat a heapin' helping of humble pie. Thanks Dr. Epstein for another outstanding book and more please.
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